Quick update

For those of you that are still checking this site out, I am home now. I've been home for exactly 1 week, almost to the hour. I think I may keep this blog up for a little while as my debriefing and informing of continuing work at the clinic.

Here's the most recent: THEY FINISHED THE ELECTRICAL!!!

They started the week before I left and were done the day before I left Haiti. Here are some pictures.

Some things I've been learning

Here's just a few quick things I've been learning as I sit at the end of a long hot work day:

1. I can live without. Without hot showers, nice clean clothes, bug free beds, a vehicle, certain foods/drinks, silence, noise, plans. It's been easier then I thought it would be - granted I've had it pretty good.
   
2. Life is so short. We have a part in whether or not we want to continue. What a blessing each day truly is.
   
3. Being a foreigner is very difficult for me. There have been many days I wish I wasn't white and feel uncomfortable in my own skin. My own, very white, skin.
   
4. We have much - us "white" folks. Yes I know this is a generalization, but that's how we are viewed. We have much and things are very easy for us.
   
5. It's your own choice whether you want to be on this journey of discipleship, of obedience. You make the decision to obey, or not. And it's not easy.
   
6. I'm told I can't be an influence on the young girls here. This one is hard for me to swallow. I'm white and therefore what I do and say has no effect on how they will live their lives. Could this be so? One human being to another? My actions have no affect on them!? This one will take A LOT of thinking and processing. Likely a blog post to follow on this one.
   
7. I don't want to come home next Sunday. I want just 1 more week. Just a few more days to do and see all that I wanted. How did this come to a close so quickly?
   
8. I never want to wash my clothes by hand.
9. I have a dream and vision for a role I could play here in Haut Limbe in the future. I have no idea how it will play out, and how it could even work, but it's not up to me to figure out those very small details. If God is calling me to this as a next step, the small details will all work out. First though, to finish school and return to work. Yes, that's important.
   
10. A smile can change anyone's day. No words are every needed.
11. What doesn't get done today...will get done tomorrow. Or maybe not tomorrow...but the day after? The work on the electricity has yet to begin on the hospital. Things are so much more difficult here. Money takes time to be sent. Supplies take time to find and purchase. And well, people just work much slower here. Truly, what doesn't get done will get done tomorrow. My "to do" list isn't getting much smaller...it seems I've even adapted this pattern as well. But my tomorrow is running out...Sigh.
    

My roots...and other stuff

I've been reflecting on how it's been to be removed from my church community the last few days. What things have been evident and how much I've missed being with that group of 150 or so people. Even without having conversations with everyone each week, they are all my family. I need not be anything or say anything, I have a place there. I have people that keep me accountable, just by existing. I need not be asked hard questions but just by their presence I think more about my actions from day to day. I want to be a better person when I'm rooted in a community. I want to serve and love and become a better disciple when I know that I am journeying with them. After 9 weeks of being away, I'm beginning to really see the effects of it. Church here is well, different. Not only is it in a language I can't understand (they talk WAY too fast at church) but it's a different style then I'm used to. We haven't had bible study, I haven't heard a message that I understand, I haven't had a group of people to talk, share, and pray with. I haven't had a close friend to share those inner thoughts and feelings with and pray about and for with. So, even though I'm really not looking forward to leaving here, I am looking forward to being back with my community. With those that know me, love me, and care for me on this journey.

In other news, I was informed today that the patient that was staying with us at the house (Roselande) passed away this week. Her funeral was today (or possibly tomorrow). She didn't want to live, and that was so evident. I guess I'm only half shocked. It's really sad for her family and for those that loved her. For her as well as the future she could have had here. But I can't help but think about if she had kept on fighting. The struggle to continue receiving, paying for, and taking her medication. The effort to test her blood sugar and monitor her diet. Things are just so difficult here, not that it means you should just give up. It's hard here. In Canada, well, I don't even want to think about how things are different for someone exactly like Rose. That's enough to make you sick.

The realities here are different. People will risk their lives on a boat to try to escape to the USA to find some kind of work to support their families back home. A boat sank a couple weeks ago and there was only 1 survivor. He was returned on Tuesday to Haiti and there were crowds waiting for him. No one knew who survived, and once they did they knew who didn't. I was happy when I saw him arrive and being carried and saw the cheering people around him. But afterwards, I noticed those crying. Realizing their loved one's were on that same boat. There's so much I don't realize and understand here, especially initially, but God has been opening my eyes little by little to different things.

I'm scared to come back. Life will return to what it was before...and yet I'm different. How I fit back into those same places will be different. At least I hope so. People have changed and continued living their lives, as have I. So here's to the last 2 weeks. Late nights, early mornings, and lots in between!

Countdown

In 2 weeks tomorrow I will be heading off to the Dominican to catch my flight home. 2 weeks! It’s this week that’s been the turning point for me, I think, at least that’s what it seems. I guess it just hit me that the work here isn’t done, and that I didn’t finish everything that I came here to do. Part of this is due to not knowing exactly what I was getting myself into, but the other part is just in general, I don’t feel like I’m finished here. I’m not ready to go. I’m finally beginning to get comfortable with the pace of life, the way people operate here, and I’m finally able to relax and take a seat on the side of the road to rest for awhile and just watch as people pass by. I’m excited to return to life at home, to see friends and family, but I’m not ready to leave and not know what the future holds with regards to my life here.

Being called blanco doesn’t bother me as much anymore and I’m able to make jokes with the children and the cat-calling guys to make light of the fact that yes I am indeed a foreigner, and yes, indeed I am white. People often state the obvious here: “you are sitting, you are eating, you are resting, you are sleeping, you are white.” I actually find it pretty amusing. It’s been a real struggle for me with the racism/reverse racism here, but lately it’s been easier to deal with. Once you get the language and can joke around with people, it seems they view you differently, and I them as well.

So, as I begin to wrap up my time here, I have been reflecting a lot on the larger issues of this country. On the economics and the whole entire system of this country. When we have young entrepreneurs actually taking action and starting a business and yet getting no where, it frustrates me. In Canada, it seems our job is to get an education, use it, and the system will do the rest. Here’s what I mean. I go to school for business. Thereafter I start a business in something that I see is demanded in the economy. I advertise, have good customer service, etc, etc, etc. But it is not MY job to ensure that people have money to purchase my goods. I can help them think they need my product, causing a demand for it. But when you really think of it, it’s not my job to ensure that the entire community or country has money in their pockets to purchase these things. Take Alin for example. He has his greenhouse, no one has money to buy any of his products. He is growing bamboo to help prevent soil erosion and is planting trees to help with the deforestation, but who will pay him for this? Who will pay for the workers to cut down the bamboo, for their lunch while they work, for the truck to haul the bamboo back, for the workers to then cut it and plant it? Who then will plant all the trees on the mountain and make sure they actually grow? The farmers on the mountain? The town? I think in North America, the government would help with this right? There are programs that are subsidized by the government to ensure we don’t end up with no trees in our forests from forest fires or logging or whatever!? There are so many people just sitting around, and yet so many attempting to find some sort of employment. It really is a huge problem.

Anyways, continue to pray as I head into the last couple weeks. The “asking” has gotten more frequent as people know I’ll be leaving soon. Pray that I will be patient and have a listening ear to the need here in Haiti.

Up & Down

These last 8 weeks have been so up and down. Each day is different and each portion of the day is different. You never know what to expect, what to hope for, what's to come. I don't think I'm getting any better at going with the flow and not planning...maybe one day. I have improved at letting things go though, and not asking so many questions...just get in the truck and wherever you end up is where you will end up (and try to make the most of each place you find yourself in - that's what I've been telling myself each time I'm caught off guard, unprepared and thus very anxious and uncomfortable). Are there any others out there reading this that can't stand not knowing what you're getting yourself into and thus aren't prepared? I'm trying so hard not to let it ruin my times as it normally would, but when I'm really not dressed appropriately for various events, it's so hard to relax and just accept the situation as is!

A couple of times Maurice, the guy who works in the clinic who initially handles the patient forms, has come to me with a name in hopes that I can tell him the patient number so that he doesn't have to spend hours looking through files. Previously we had been unsuccessful, likely because I have yet to enter them in the system or because I spelled their name incredibly wrong, but Wednesday and Thursday we had 2 successes! The look on his face made the endless hours of data entry worth it. I can't imagine how frustrating it must be and how much time is spent looking for a misfiled or lost form. Now, with the click of a few buttons, ta da! He was so excited (as was I)! We aren't using the Access system yet as we are still trying to work out a few bugs, but it's all in Excel which makes for easy finding!

Roselande has gone home now. I'm not sure her state but I know she wasn't happy that she had to leave. I hope to see her once more before I come home, I just hope it's not on the conditions that she's gotten worse. I've never seen someone so close to death, someone who really doesn't even want to live and has the power to actually influence her recovery.

Boni and I are working on writing now with her opposite hand so she can return to school in September. It's been a discouraging couple weeks with her but I will try to write about that later. My fear is that she will never use her right hand, that it will just be a limb that's useless and in the way. Ugh.

I have discovered many more projects and opportunities at the clinic that need some help. It's just a reminder that the work is not done here at the Eben-Ezer Clinic and those that come after me will have lots of fun!

Now, for this heat...anyone have any suggestions? I'm melting away!

It’s different for them…right?

As I make new friends and get to know people better, I seem to be blinded by the realities of life in Haiti. Let me explain. The few close friends that I have made here seem different to me. By different I mean because I’ve had normal conversations with them I for some reason conclude that they are just like me, or another North American. I am continually reminded that this isn’t the case. Even my friends, are well, Haitien. Most of them don’t have jobs. Most of them don’t have money. They have mothers who work at the market in Limbe, hoping to sell just one article of clothing that day. They don’t always have food or money to pay for their tuition. I’m not sure if the hope that I have that they are different is me just being foolish, not wanting to face reality, protecting myself, lightening the situation, etc. etc. etc. I think it’s a lot of things but it’s not doing good for anyone. The situation here in Haiti is, well, I can’t find a good word for it. Extreme? Desperate? Severe? Dire? Infinite? Overwhelming? I don’t want to keep these blinders on but it seems that’s been the pattern. And so, as I finish these last 4 weeks here, would you pray with me that I would see the harsh realities of life here in Haiti? I saw a lot of this the first couple weeks and what a ride that was. It’s tough, and in many ways I don’t want to walk through it, but I am here and this is what I came for. To learn and experience the realities of Haitien life.

Update: Roselande has returned to Manno’s house after 1 week of being home. Her progress deteriorated drastically and is not doing well. She isn’t eating nearly as much as she was when she was here before and is refusing to give herself her insulin. Pray for her health, both physically and mentally. I don’t see the fight and light I saw in her when she was here before, she’s back to the girl I met when we picked her up in the jungle – no desire to live and no fight for life.

World view

Today I have been thinking about bringing children to Haiti and what impact it would make on their lives. I wish for everyone to gain a better understanding of the world outside of their world. I want all Winnipeggers to get a better picture of the world and I want Haitiens to see that there's another world out there. I want my children to grow up knowing and understanding a different culture. I think that will be something that will be on my parenting list of things to do. If I can't do anything else, I want to give my children the opportunity to travel and see the world at a young age. I can't even begin to imagine how it would form them as human beings. As a 23 year I already have values and ideas formed in my head. Before travelling to Ecuador at 18 I had my ideas and values formed. Yes I'm always being changed and transformed, but what about introducing children at a young age to life in Haiti? It's almost overwhelming for me to think about. One day I would love to bring down my nieces and nephew and cousins. To show them the world outside of what they know. I would love for my new friends here in Haiti to experience life in Winnipeg. There is something so profound that happens when you sumberge yourself in another culture with another race. There is oh so much to learn.

Understanding

There is much I do not understand about Haiti. Much I don't understand about this culture. The more I experience the more questions I have and the more I don't understand. I know so very little.

Rat incident # 2

Lastnight I heard some scratching...and some rummaging...and some plastic being walked on...

Up I jumped on my bed, turned on my headlamp, grabbed my umbrella and extended it like a long stick...and nothing (try to picture this please....because it's really a hilarious image now...).

I threw my ipod at my bag of granola bars (which I forgot to hang back in my bear bag) and nothing. Poked around my suit cases with my umbrella, nothing.

I stood on my bed for awhile...wondering what in the world to do. Finally got the courage to shine the light all around the dresser and my suitcases. I found nothing.

So I laid in my bed listening, waiting, for 30 minutes, until my alarm went off to go running. 4:37am and that stupid "ratla" (rat in Creole) came back.

This afternoon I moved back into the main house. I don't care how loud it is. How many unexpected visitors I get and how much lack of personal space I have. There are NO rats in that house...at least none that I've seen.

I think this will help with the loneliness as well. At least I can hear and see people wandering around whereas in the other room I was completely secluded. Yes, I think it's for the best. Stupid ratla!

From last week

I wrote this post on my computer last week (July 2) and never posted it. Here it is!

Today I’ve been thinking about how this part of my journey fits into the big picture of my life. I thought it might start making sense once I got here but it really hasn’t. Life here seems “normal”, or at least I’m moving into that stage I think. Work seems to be work. Those day to day issues seem to be creeping back into my life. It seems when you shake up your normal schedule those things you think about most get pushed back and are forgotten. But once you find a new pattern or routine, back they creep in. And so they’re here.

Through learning about this culture and this community, there are things that I love, and things I don’t. There are things I agree with, and lots that I don’t. There are things that I like about how people treat women, and there are things that I don’t. I’ve been missing my independence. Missing knowing friends that I trust. Missing going out to places that I love with people that I love. I’ve just finished week 5 of 11 which seems crazy to me. It seems like I’ve been here so much longer and 6 more weeks seems so long, yet so so short. I know I will be ready to come home, I already kind of am, but it’s going to be incredibly difficult. I don’t know what the future holds. I have no idea if or when I will return. I think that’s the hardest part of leaving. What makes it easier is knowing what I’m coming home to. A wonderful family, friends, a great job, community, city, etc. etc. etc. I feel truly blessed to have all that I do in Canada. Seeing the community here and being an “outsider” reminds me of what is back home. Sigh.

Through trying to discern whether or not I may be called to live overseas I’ve learned only a few things thus far. The things I’ve learned are what I DON’T want to be as a “missionary”. Being here this summer I haven’t viewed myself as a missionary, exactly. I just saw it as the opportunity to live in another place and work there. To offer whatever I could and walk alongside people for a short time. I didn’t want the pressure and the stereotypes put on me. If I was to return to this community or to another country to work, I’m not sure I’d want to go under the title “missionary”. And if I did, I sure wouldn’t want to look like a lot of missionaries. Now this sounds like it’s coming from a specific example but it’s really not. It’s coming from the presence of another race in a community and the affects that it has. The impact that the white people have in this community, this country. I want to be viewed as just another person living here. I don’t want to live in a nice house, or have nice things. I want to live and eat and travel and be just as they are. I know it’s possible. I think that’s part of the sacrifice of being a “missionary”.

Who knows what is in my future, but for now I’ll continue on. I need a lot of patience here and feel I have a lack of love a lot of the time. When I’m tired or frustrated or just distracted I seem to not love well. I need to slow down and be patient.

Database

Thanks to much help from some of the group members that were here the last 2 weeks, we are on our way with the database. We have almost all records entered in for 2009 and I'll start working back from there. We are at about 1700 or 34 000. Yikes! I'm beginning to realize I'm only going to get a start at this. I'm looking forward to implementing the database with the staff and showing them how easy it will be to keep records and information up to date. Please pray with me for a computer as they don't have one to use for this program. The clinic has 1 desktop but it will not work for this.

It's still really hot here. No electricity last night which means to fan. Which means not much sleep. Electricity and running water truly is a blessed thing.

Happy Canada Day friends!

Some more updates

1. Boni is doing bicep curls with a foam ball in her hand! We were working on the wrist and fingers this week and have a lot of work to do.
   
2. Rosalande is getting a bit of a tummy. She's been to church a couple times this week with Mama and was cooking today in the kitchen. You have no idea what transformation this is from over a week ago.
   
3. We had an eye clinic this week and saw over 400 patients (might have been over 500 even). People can see (funny pictures to come)!
   
4. We have over 500 patients entered into the database and are working on the format. Lots more to go but help from the group that was here this week was much appreciated.
   
5. I had a rat in my suitcase last night. I'm a little traumatized. I opened my suitcase to get candy canes for my friends (Kayla left these to give away) and out jumped a HUGE (not exaggerating here...) brown rat. Straight at my leg, just missed me and ran out the door. Holy camoly. I screamed so loud and was so traumatized. I did sleep there last night but man oh man. I hung all my food in a bag from my wall. Kind of like hiding the food from bears!
   
6. 11 of the group members leave on Saturday and the rest on Tuesday. They will missed but I'm looking forward to life returning back to normal.
   
7. It's still hot here. I have a crazy heat rash on the back of my legs but this hasn't kept me from running.
   
8. Electrical will hopefully start next week or the following. It's delayed because they were using the hospital this week for the eye clinic.
   
9. It doesn't feel like it's been 4 weeks already - but apparently this Sunday that will be the case. Lucky for me I can't count weeks and I'm actually here for 11 weeks rather than 10. Yay!
   

Miss you all lots and can't wait to hear from you. Send me an email!

Picture updates

The gang (Ben, Kayla, myself, Alin)





















My physiotherapy patient, Boni. She can do a bicep curl holding onto a rock now! :)





















My other patient (Rosalande) and I. She is staying at the house with us and we are taking care of her for 1 month. I think I will spend 1 week with her and her family at her house in the jungle after she's finished treatment with us. Yikes!




















































The hospital is currently testing people's eyes and giving out classes through the Randolph Foundation. This morning they saw 50 patients. I even tested some of them!
















Getting the generator out of the truck in the dark.....sooooooo scary!















We got it out after much yelling and pulling and "discussing"














It weighs a lot! I was excited to see the ECCC name on it too! What a relief and such hope for this community and country.



















I'm happy! :)

Click on any picture to make it bigger.

The Value of Life

This week has been a bit of a wild ride. On Monday 12 students arrived from the USA to help in the clinic and Tuesday another 3 came to work in the lab with the technicians. Tuesday Manno took me to pick up a patient. I drove along the very bumpy and windy roads, parked, and we hopped on a couple motorcycles and arrived at her house. There she was, nothing to her. Sitting with a completely lifeless look on her face. I noticed how big her feet and hands were and how tall she was, yet every bone was visible and protruding. I’ve never seen anything like it. We loaded the motorcycles after they prepared and her 2 sisters came along with us. I drove back in the rain through the mountains and arrived at the hospital in the town next to ours. We sat in the waiting room for about an hour waiting to see a doctor. Meanwhile, a young girl died from electric shock. She was in the waiting room for who knows how long (at least an hour) and her heart stopped. The doctor didn’t try any form of resuscitation and we sat there listening to the family scream and cry in disbelief. This morning she was just fine, that evening she was gone. We watched as friends and family walked by us to go into the room to say goodbye. At this point we are exhausted from the travel and the emotions from the day. We haven’t eaten and are all hungry and we are just waiting. The doctor finally agrees to see her at his convenience and nothing. Manno says we are going to take her home with us because he doesn’t want to leave her there. So we bring her home. We feed her. We take her to a room at the University with her sisters. Test her insulin which is 594. The next day she sits all day in the living room at the house and I’m in charge of making sure she gets food and her insulin as Manno is at another clinic for the day. Rosalande begins to look a little better. Her glucose level is coming down and I even got a couple smiles out of her. There is something about showing someone that they are worth something. Manno shows this girl that her life matters. That he will make the treck out into the jungle to get her and bring her back to his home and care for her. Now, just maybe, she will fight for her life too. I was asked today if I thought she was going to make it, but I really don’t even want to think about that. I want to hope and pray for her, but at the same time I want to be ready for this reality. The reality of death. I’ve been here 3 weeks and have experienced 3 deaths (clinic staff members brother, baby at the clinic, girl at the hospital).

Last night the generator arrived at the clinic. This has been a work in progress and has been a bit of a worry for me as it’s taken months to ship it here and have it arrive. They unloaded it from the truck by hand (all 1340lbs). Slowly they lower it onto a couple of boards on top of 3 tires. The truck slowly inches forward as the generator is pulled out towards the ground. It took over an hour (or maybe two) and there was lots of yelling and disagreeing on whether or not the thing would crash to its death. I stood trying not to panic and when that thing was safe I was so relieved (Pictures to come). This is hope for this community and this country. This generator means that there will be electricity for the hospital. It means that people like Rosalande will be able to be admitted and treated properly, with dignity and respect. This huge thing gives hope. Someone cares about the future of these people.

Lastly, this afternoon I went to visit Boni as per usual. I brought the before and after picture of her printed for her to keep. Her mom is out showing her friends or family the picture and we can hear them talking from inside the house. This is about 45 minutes after I initially gave it to them. All of a sudden Boni starts sobbing, right in the middle of her leg lifts! I stand up and hold her and ask her if she’s hurt. I ask her to sit but nothing. She’s just crying. Her mom comes in and I ask to please explain what’s going on. I guess Boni was just so overwhelmed by the entire situation. That 1 year ago she was nearly dead. She should have died and yet here she is 1 year later making progress in her exercises. I tried to encourage her comfort her but there was so little that I could say. Her community is supporting her in her rehab and everyone is on board. I make the 5 minute walk down the road to her house twice each day and am greeted by everyone, most knowing who I am and what I’m doing. When I’m not able to come to the house, the family helps her with the exercises. And when I come again, there she is so excited to show me her progress. When I first started with Boni she couldn’t do a bicep curl without using her other hand to pull her arm up towards her shoulder. Today, she held a rock in her hand (which she couldn’t do either) and did 20! I have no idea what I’m doing when I go there, but the point is that I care. I care about her and her well being. I care about her life and her mobility. I care about her family and am able to love her just by showing up each day. They have so very very little. Their house is 1 room, 1 bed, hardly any clothes or food and yet they offer me gifts. I’ve brought home sugar cane and corn and have been so blessed and challenged by this family. I am often frustrated that I can’t understand what they are telling me, but we are making progress.

So today, was up and down again, all day. It’s beginning to feel like home here. When I drive down the road I can yell out hello to more then one person. When driving I pass people I know on their motorcycles and can shine my lights at them. I can sit with the women in the kitchen and eat corn or sit outside with them and eat sugar cane and talk about life. I feel welcome here and accepted, and that’s encouraging for me. I don’t like the special treatment I was given before as their blanc guest, but now I think they are seeing that I’m a lot like them. Different, but similar.

Lastly, this morning while waking up I leave my room and walk across to the other house (main house where everyone else is staying) I look out the hole in the wall where the window will be when this house is finished being constructed and I see the neighbours getting ready for the day. The mother washing herself at the water tap, later on the 4 and 2 year old girls washing the dishes. The older brother (11 years old) looking after his sisters. They watch me and stalk me every time I come out of my room or return, but they are my neighbours. Living here has given me new meaning to what loving your neighbours means. So vulnerable and open. So raw and real.

This ride is bumpy. There’s darkness and there’s light. So much of both. This is our world. This is reality. And it’s my reality right now. Death. Life. Sickness. Suffering. Tears. Sorrow. Laughter. Compassion. Embrace. Hope. Love. Worth.

The Zoo?

The sun's out and it's gorgeous here today. This morning I drove to Limbe alone and it was wonderful! Freedom!

I was very homesick yesterday - missing being able to hide away and have time to myself. To be comfortable with my friends and family and know what's happening. Control is the key word here. Kayla and I took the motorcycle into Limbe to walk around which was nice and Manno took us out dancing in the evening. A night of dancing is enough to cure a sad heart. A group of 12 comes in today to do mobile clinics. They are staying at Manno's so we will be shifting around in the house and cleaning like mad this afternoon. We wen't expecting a group until Thursday but plans are always changing! I don't even believe people anymore when they tell me something, is that bad?

I tried to hide away yesterday for a short while and went on the roof of Manno's house that's being built. I was spotted by the neighbor children and was called out at. No hiding there. Decided to go for a run at the soccer field and thought I was in the clear with only 1 person there studying. Boy was I wrong. I guess I had some followers, about 15 people and they just sat on the side and watched me run around in circles. One of them even brought out a banner as I ran by...not sure what it said though. I often feel like I'm in a zoo or something - oh look, the white girl sneezed! Now she's turning bright red, and now she's drinking her water! I need a sign, "please don't feed the animals" or something! So it was good to go out lastnight and dance the night away, at least I only kind of stuck out. I knew what I'd be coming into when I decided to come, but the looks and stares get tiring. I kind of forgot about that when we were here in March. I have a small taste of what is feels like to live somewhere as a minority.

The work at the clinic is coming along. It's always busy there. Last week there was a little baby that passed away. One of the workers brothers also passed away and the funeral was on Sunday. Death seems to happen a lot here yet it's never easy. The feeling in the town was very different yesterday. This week will be a few mobile clinics and regular work there. Next week will be the eye clinics. I'm looking forward to seeing and helping with that. I will soon be able to add optometrist to my resume along with physiotherapist...Just kidding!

And so this week is a new week. I'm not really sure what is in store, and I'm not really going to try and figure it out. That hasn't seemed to work out so well in the past so hopefully I can learn from it.

Thanks to everyone for your support again. I am overwhelmed by the generosity of my friends, family and family friends. There is a real need in our world both locally and abroad, and I just happen to be serving here right now. As I see the hurting people here in Haiti I often think back to those that are in Winnipeg. I feel incredibly blessed to have all that I do, and sometimes wonder why I've been so. Things are not right in our world, not at all. One step at a time though, one smile, one touch, one laugh. These people are beautiful here and I am so blessed to spend this time with all of them.

Until next time!

A small emergency...

I've been running most mornings at the University soccer field and usually have quite the audience. I don't mind though as the kids usually give me a high five as I make another lap - that's enough to keep me going. But...Wednesday I decided to step out and run to Limbe (about 3 kms away). My friend Alin came along as my "bodyguard" and all was well most of the way there. Every time a truck or car would pass by you'd have to jump off the road which kept things exciting. We nearly made it and I suddenly felt very very sick. We walked for a short while and eventually I swallowed my pride and said I needed to find a bathroom. Well, there's really NOTHING near there. We were approaching the river but I thought that would be a little bit of a scene. We walked a little ways and he said he had a friend that lived just up the road. How embarassing - bringing some crazy white girl to use the washroom. I said I'd rather go in the bush and that is exactly what I did! I was really hoping there was no poison ivy or something of the like. A fairly hilarious story now but not so much then. That's my sickness story # 1. I stayed close to home the rest of the day as I didn't want to get caught again.

It's been overcast and raining here almost a full week now. I must admit I can't wait until it's scorching hot again - this is just getting depressing. I've been driving a little bit more but haven't yet ventured out on my own - havn't needed to quite yet. We've been hanging out with the kids quite a bit and they are loving the extra attention. They are wanting to learn English and so we've been helping each other.

No new proposals yet but lastnight I spent some time hiding in the kitchen with the ladies. It's beginning to feel a little more like home here. Only 8 more weeks left and I can't even remember where the first 2 weeks went! So much happens in one day and yet the weeks just fly by.

We are hoping to get the money transferred over to this week or next so we can start on the electrical. I would estimate that it will begin at the end of the month - although that may be postponed a little bit as there are a couple groups coming next week to help train the lab technicians. I will be sure to post pictures as soon as I have them!

Driving 101

Today I drove to visit my patient! I had someone come with me for the first time and it went just fine! I dodged the huge holes and didn't stall even once! Now all I need to do is learn how to use the horn...
I'm alive and well and loving Haiti. We are off to visit the orphanage that we went to in March. Should be fun to play with more kids!
Hope to hear from you all! I miss you!

Pictures

I'm having trouble putting blog posts up on here so please be patient as I find ways to keep everyone updated! Miss you all!

Update from Haiti

Today we went to the beach. It was the same beach we went to while I was here before, but this time we went to the “Haitian beach”. This one is right beside the “compound” that we went to previously but doesn’t cost anything to enter – in fact you don’t really enter anything. There were a few other girls that came as well and so we followed along with them for the morning/afternoon. It was so nice to have someone to follow to know how to act and be. Apparently you don’t just take off your skirt and tank top on the beach if you have your bathing suit underneath. THAT would be inappropriate…! You don’t lay your towel out and listen to music and read. You change in the little huts there and everyone kind of swims in a little pack or herd. Swimming and interacting with each other – (space issues anyone…?) Anyways, us 5 girls change and come out and I’m suddenly feeling extremely white. I look out at the people swimming and picture myself in the water with them – you’d spot me from miles away, literally. I suddenly want to retreat back into my own skin and disappear. This feeling faded fairly quickly as we made our way into the water and I became more comfortable with the girls. We ate fish, plantain, and conch for lunch and walked along the beach together. We came with our guy friends as well but didn’t hang out with them at all – in fact we didn’t really see them until it was time to go. It was a good few hours swimming, eating, laughing and relaxing. Yes, I’m white – but that’s okay. The girls reminded me that I should be proud of who I am. And I am. Sometimes I just wish I could fit in. I’m not so sure that’s going to happen.

Of course the children were waiting for us as we returned but I just wanted to be quiet and not be with so many people. It seems this house is the community hang out place and just when you think it’s time for bed and you’re all set to go, more people drop by. But this afternoon, the rain came down hard and it was quite refreshing. A rest from yelling kids. From children waiting at your door. A rest from studying Creole. A rest from unexpected visitors. A retreat from a very overwhelming and challenging week of adjusting.

I miss home quite a bit these days. I miss my friends. Community. Church. Job. Freedom. Comforts. English! It’s all very selfish and I in no way wish to return – but I feel like I’m mourning the loss of a really great summer in Winnipeg. These new experiences are so exciting and fun yet I just miss what I know, what’s comfortable. When I will leave and when I will return. When I will eat and what it will be. Who will come over and when. How and when I will do my laundry and get clean towels. I think living here will be a good test of my hospitality. Am I willing to host people even when I’m tired? When I’m in my pajamas and ready for bed? When it’s early in the morning and I want to read my bible? I’ve never been really gifted at being hospitable, but this sure will help I think. I ask for prayer for patience and strength to deal with the children here who are oh so excited to see us. Even as I try to blend in with the other 4 Haitian ladies on the beach, the children still come and sit in the sand among us.

This week I will visit my patient again to work on her exercises. I will also try to get this database up and running. Things move so slowly here (myself included) it’s really quite the adjustment. Pray that I will find a way to be productive and efficient again like I know I’m able! Who is this person here in Haiti and where did I get left?

The money raised thus far will be sent this week and I’m hoping the electrical will begin by the end of June, although it may be pushed back to July as there is a group coming to provide care for those with eye problems and they will be operating in the new hospital building (without electricity of course!). I hope also to see the generator that was purchased back in December arrive this week. Pictures will be sure to come of that – me hugging and kissing that thing I’m sure!

Goodbye from the very white girl.

Love you all!

Pictures!

Hey friends.
I'm here in Haiti and it's hot hot hot! I've been enjoying my first week in Haiti thus far. It's been challenging and fun! I'm picking up the language pretty well but I do feel frustrated a lot. I have been helping with a patient to do exercises every day. I go to her house (about 15 minutes from where we live) and we work for an hour. Today we saw progress! Her right arm and leg don't work very well at all. Her fingers are locked in a fist position and today when I came they were relaxed and flexible! I have no idea what I'm doing as a physiotherapist but I am trying! I think it's just important that I am spending time with her and showing her that I care and that she should care as well. She was tired and sore today so we took it easy. A couple other people came and showed me their sore and swollen feet and asked for help - I just told them I am NOT a doctor and that I only have exercises for Boni (that's the patients name). So...it's been exciting! I road on a motorcycle for the first time. He was extremely slow I think I could have ran faster than him. Speaking of running, I have been up at 5:00 or 5:30am every morning, trying to beat the sun for a nice run around the University soccer field. Tomorrow I will attempt to run on the road to the nearby town. I look forward to that. It's been good to form relationships here with people in the community. I love telling them that I will see them later, for another 9 weeks anyways. People are very happy to see me back and it's been awesome to have real conversations with them. Lots happens at this clinic. Things I had no idea of. There is a clinic in a couple weeks for people that have eye problems, a food program, water treatment program, a program for malnutrition etc etc etc. They are very busy here, yet it seems people stop working at about 1pm. Haha. That's been hard to adjust to but we are studying Creole in the afternoon (me and the other girl from Alberta that is here for 3 weeks).
Sorry this is so random but I only have a few minutes and can't edit! I hope to do a better job of being in contact, yet I want to take advantage of every moment that I'm here. This truly is a gift being here. I can see how things take so long to get completed though as I keep saying I'll get to it tomorrow. Even the smallest of things. So yeah, thanks for your patience!

Goodbyes

I've been saying my goodbyes this week. To my 3 little nieces, siblings, grandparents, and friends. I forgot that I would probably miss the people back at home. I've just been so excited and it's come so fast that I didn't really realize until Monday that I would miss out on life here as I know it for 10 weeks. I also booked my return flight which is also very exciting. I'm excited to go but I'm excited to have my return in site. I sure do like things planned, that seems to be obvious.

I will miss my Faith family a lot. Worshiping with them each Sunday, summer camp fires at the parks, bbqs on the weekends. I'll really miss lunch with my Uma every few weeks at Smitty's. I'll miss seeing my twin nieces grow and change so quickly. I'm sure they'll be talking using real words by the time I get back. And little Gus from church will likely be walking - I'll miss seeing him grow. I'll especially miss my small group and bible studies on Wednesday evenings. I will miss those friends and that sacred time we share each week together. I'll miss the crazy times in the church basement working with and for some crazy people. Oh both the joys and frustrations I will miss. I will miss the freedom I have here and the easy access I have to everything I want or need. I will miss being able to communicate easily and express things to be understood.

I'm truly excited to be leaving for Haiti on Saturday afternoon. I'm giddy and overwhelmed with excitement, but I'm also sad to leave this comfortable life here in Winnipeg. I did my last load of laundry that I'll do in 10 weeks in a washing machine. Soon it will all be done by hand. There are lots of lasts that I've had this week, but there are so many firsts to come. It's just bitter sweet and I think that's okay. I have a real sense of peace about where I'm headed. Good, challenging, exciting times are to come. God be with you as He is with me. May you sense His presence in YOUR life as I've in mine.

Haiti Video

This powerpoint was inspired by a song that was played for us while returning from the beach. It is a Haitian artist that is singing about the reality of a Haitian. It talks about 5 guys that take a boat to sea but have no real destination. Anything would be better than staying in Haiti, even the birds don't stay in Haiti. So, I hope you enjoy it. Sorry the quality isn't great, it was created as a powerpoint presentation. All pictures are from our trip aside from Dr. Manno's patient and the picture of the city street in Winnipeg. Pictures are from Rose Friesen, Janelle Peterson, Jason Klippenstein and Cody Anderson who were on the March trip with me. Thanks guys!

The funny thing is...

So after my hilarious scare/frustration with booking my airline ticket...about 4 hours after I booked the May 30th flight, the following week's flight was available again...this was after I freaked out about leaving in 3 weeks rather than 4 (it was hard enough to commit to up and going in 1 month)!!! It's not as easy as it may sound you know! This is hard for a person who needs to mentally prepare herself for things well in advance! I need to play out each day prior to my departure (well not THAT specific) but I need to become "okay" with the reality that I'll be leaving in 4 weeks...or in this case now 3. Anyways, all that to say, I think God's up to something a little bigger then I might think. I'm convinced that I need to be in Haiti between the 31st of May and June 6th! I was cornered into that decision and so I guess in a way made it easier...

I've been busy packing and preparing. Yes I know I have 2 weeks left but my suitcase it almost full. I've been collecting things to take down with me for people there. I truly cannot wait to get on that plane and be on my way. This afternoon was spent calling around/visiting hydroponic stores to find grow bags for our friend that has a nursery in the community. I can now say I set foot in one of those places....well two actually...very interesting.

I'm so excited!!!!!!

I do have waves of fear that wash over me though. Fear about the lack of control I'll have. I won't be able to decide what to eat and when, where I will be going, what time things will happen, what I will be doing each day and each moment. It will very much be a "go-with-the-flow" kind of summer. A time of waiting.....and waiting....and waiting.....
I really am thankful for my year in Ecuador that has helped ease me into this mentality. It will be challenging. O will it be challenging! But I think it will be just lovely.
Once I just let go...I think I'll just get into a groove. Yes I'm sure I'll get frustrated with many of things along the way...but that's all part of the journey. I can't wait to see those I met down there 2 months ago and tell them that I'm back to stay! (at least for a few months anyways). I can't wait to see their smiles and see how they've been.

Since I made this final decision last week I've been a little ADD. I have lots of lists but I can't seem to keep doing one thing...I've been all over the city...doing random tasks. Today I even found myself cleaning out the parents fridge to keep me busy. Maybe I should have just left this weekend...! I'm going crazy here!!!!

But in just 2 weeks from now I'll be in Montreal in a hotel...waiting to fly into the DR to start my adventure. Oh Lord...will you make sure it rains a few days while I'm there...? I'm kind of scared of how hot is might actually be....

Flights & Prep

This afternoon I booked my flight. Not after some real trouble though.

Apparently Air Canada sells a whole bunch of tickets to Air Canada VACATIONS and so I went to book my flight last night all of the economy seats were booked. You see, they only fly out once a week to the Dominican which is how I plan to get to my destination of Haut-Limbe, Haiti soo....I was in a bit of a pickle!

Well, a very long story short, I booked my flight a week earlier then I'd planned (which is actually 3 months earlier then I'd originally planned...why do I even try to plan...???) and in 3 weeks I'll be overnighting in Montreal heading to Puerta Plata the next morning (May 31st).

As I try to think about all that needs to be done in the next 20 days I can't help but just be excited! Things will work out here in Winnipeg and I feel not one bit of guilt for leaving my responsibilities for 3 months. I need a break from this chapter of my life. It's time to start a new one. I plan to return back to this way of life here in Winnipeg soon, but for now I just can't wait to step out. There are bigger things happening...and God's got a plan!

While in Haiti I hope to create and implement a patient database for the clinic/hospital. After much searching these last 2 months for the perfect health clinic software with just the right fields, I realized there has to be a better option! Microsoft Access! Now I hear it's a sucker to learn but once you've got it it's an amazing tool. So...in the next 3 weeks I plan to read the dummies book for Access and start on this task. Any Access experts out there?

And what will be waiting for me when I arrive in Limbe?









A whole lot of patient cards to be entered into the system. Thousands...

And I just can't wait! :)
(ask me in 1 month how excited I am to be entering in all those crazy names that I can't spell let alone pronounce. Good name base for picking baby names...??? Just kiddin!)

I just can't wait to go! :)