Quick update

For those of you that are still checking this site out, I am home now. I've been home for exactly 1 week, almost to the hour. I think I may keep this blog up for a little while as my debriefing and informing of continuing work at the clinic.

Here's the most recent: THEY FINISHED THE ELECTRICAL!!!

They started the week before I left and were done the day before I left Haiti. Here are some pictures.

Some things I've been learning

Here's just a few quick things I've been learning as I sit at the end of a long hot work day:

1. I can live without. Without hot showers, nice clean clothes, bug free beds, a vehicle, certain foods/drinks, silence, noise, plans. It's been easier then I thought it would be - granted I've had it pretty good.
   
2. Life is so short. We have a part in whether or not we want to continue. What a blessing each day truly is.
   
3. Being a foreigner is very difficult for me. There have been many days I wish I wasn't white and feel uncomfortable in my own skin. My own, very white, skin.
   
4. We have much - us "white" folks. Yes I know this is a generalization, but that's how we are viewed. We have much and things are very easy for us.
   
5. It's your own choice whether you want to be on this journey of discipleship, of obedience. You make the decision to obey, or not. And it's not easy.
   
6. I'm told I can't be an influence on the young girls here. This one is hard for me to swallow. I'm white and therefore what I do and say has no effect on how they will live their lives. Could this be so? One human being to another? My actions have no affect on them!? This one will take A LOT of thinking and processing. Likely a blog post to follow on this one.
   
7. I don't want to come home next Sunday. I want just 1 more week. Just a few more days to do and see all that I wanted. How did this come to a close so quickly?
   
8. I never want to wash my clothes by hand.
9. I have a dream and vision for a role I could play here in Haut Limbe in the future. I have no idea how it will play out, and how it could even work, but it's not up to me to figure out those very small details. If God is calling me to this as a next step, the small details will all work out. First though, to finish school and return to work. Yes, that's important.
   
10. A smile can change anyone's day. No words are every needed.
11. What doesn't get done today...will get done tomorrow. Or maybe not tomorrow...but the day after? The work on the electricity has yet to begin on the hospital. Things are so much more difficult here. Money takes time to be sent. Supplies take time to find and purchase. And well, people just work much slower here. Truly, what doesn't get done will get done tomorrow. My "to do" list isn't getting much smaller...it seems I've even adapted this pattern as well. But my tomorrow is running out...Sigh.
    

My roots...and other stuff

I've been reflecting on how it's been to be removed from my church community the last few days. What things have been evident and how much I've missed being with that group of 150 or so people. Even without having conversations with everyone each week, they are all my family. I need not be anything or say anything, I have a place there. I have people that keep me accountable, just by existing. I need not be asked hard questions but just by their presence I think more about my actions from day to day. I want to be a better person when I'm rooted in a community. I want to serve and love and become a better disciple when I know that I am journeying with them. After 9 weeks of being away, I'm beginning to really see the effects of it. Church here is well, different. Not only is it in a language I can't understand (they talk WAY too fast at church) but it's a different style then I'm used to. We haven't had bible study, I haven't heard a message that I understand, I haven't had a group of people to talk, share, and pray with. I haven't had a close friend to share those inner thoughts and feelings with and pray about and for with. So, even though I'm really not looking forward to leaving here, I am looking forward to being back with my community. With those that know me, love me, and care for me on this journey.

In other news, I was informed today that the patient that was staying with us at the house (Roselande) passed away this week. Her funeral was today (or possibly tomorrow). She didn't want to live, and that was so evident. I guess I'm only half shocked. It's really sad for her family and for those that loved her. For her as well as the future she could have had here. But I can't help but think about if she had kept on fighting. The struggle to continue receiving, paying for, and taking her medication. The effort to test her blood sugar and monitor her diet. Things are just so difficult here, not that it means you should just give up. It's hard here. In Canada, well, I don't even want to think about how things are different for someone exactly like Rose. That's enough to make you sick.

The realities here are different. People will risk their lives on a boat to try to escape to the USA to find some kind of work to support their families back home. A boat sank a couple weeks ago and there was only 1 survivor. He was returned on Tuesday to Haiti and there were crowds waiting for him. No one knew who survived, and once they did they knew who didn't. I was happy when I saw him arrive and being carried and saw the cheering people around him. But afterwards, I noticed those crying. Realizing their loved one's were on that same boat. There's so much I don't realize and understand here, especially initially, but God has been opening my eyes little by little to different things.

I'm scared to come back. Life will return to what it was before...and yet I'm different. How I fit back into those same places will be different. At least I hope so. People have changed and continued living their lives, as have I. So here's to the last 2 weeks. Late nights, early mornings, and lots in between!