The past, the present, and the future

The Past
I can't even begin to explain how things were run at the clinic prior to my arriving here. It's both frustrating and encouraging. It's what I assumed and yet not at all. Enough of the past.

The Present
We have bills to pay, medications that need to be bought, laboratory supplies that are needed, supplies to be sorted, patients to be treated, a hospital to be finished, visitors to be welcomed, friends to help, and a whole new financial system to create since there is nothing here currently. Last night I realized the task I have in front of me. It's huge. A very large mountain. Bigger then a mountain. What is something bigger then a mountain? I don't know. Sigh.

Is there hope for change? I have to believe there is. Will people change? Do they want to change? Has this been the way it's always been and things will never get better? The old and ancient way? If that's the case, I can't stay. I am hear to serve the people of Haiti, to help treat those that are sick. To give treatment to everyone and anyone who needs it. Without funding, it's impossible. Without support, it won't happen. But without good accountability, none of the previous 2 things are even beneficial. The 2 new individuals that are working with me now know, see, and understand the problem. The people in charge are on board with me. All except 1. This journey will be long, difficult, encouraging, life changing. There is hope, but it will be a long journey.

It's a good thing I have friends here who love me and support me. Had I not been here in the summer, I would be that stupid white person coming in trying to change things, knowing nothing. Now, it's just crazy little Shauna who is trying to be nice and be the boss, changing things, all at the same time. Sigh.

Today was a hard day and yet we are taking baby steps. One day at a time. One task at a time. It's clear that everyone wants new books, new records, new systems, new accountability, starting my arrival. That's clear. We owe a lot of money and have very little in our bank accounts. Where did it all go? And yet if we had a lot of money in our accounts, our situation wouldn't seem so dire to fix. With money in our account no one would see the real problems...
So, it's what's best. It sucks, and it's hard, but it's alright.

The Future
I see hope and change. Needs will be met somehow and someway. Yesterday while visiting a clinic to learn about their systems Dr Manno was able to treat a 12 year old girl. Her mother brought her to the clinic for help with no money. She has cerebral palsy. Her mother has carried her around for 12 years on her shoulders. Yesterday, Manno was able to give her a wheel chair. The supplies we packed and shipped in September were used. While packing all the wheelchairs before I kept thinking we were sending too many. That the space could be used for something more useful. Every wheelchair I numbered and loaded was worth it for that little girl who I never met and probably never will. This is why we do what we do. To give away a free wheelchair to someone who has so little. The future is bright and I'm hopeful. It's long, very long, but I'm hopeful.